It was a normal sunny day at Honolulu Beach. The beach was very crowded. People were swimming in the sea. Some people were eating at a café. Others were sunbathing in the 30 degree sun. Everyone was having a great time until CRACK.
"What was that!" screamed Susan. "I don't know, but it doesn't sound ...," his voice was interrupted as he went flying through the air. The next thing he knew he was on a riverbed surrounded by Susan and someone else. "Hi, I'm Dave," he said shyly. "Hi I'm Richard" he moaned. "Where am I?" he asked. "You're at the Oahu river about a kilometre from the beach. We dragged you all the way here to wash you're wounds,". Then for the first time he realized that he had 7 scars on his legs 2 on his hands and 4 on his elbows. "We'll have to get to the beach," whispered Dave. I could tell he was a bit shy. "I think we should get a stick if we have to fight, a bottle of water and then we get out of here," muttered Richard.
In a few minutes they had started walking. They had gotten about halfway before "HACK". There stood a dozen parrots with red beady looking eyes and big teeth. I tried to stay calm and yelled "Sticks ready!". I ran towards the parrots. One tried biting me but I sidestepped and hit it in the ribs. 1 down, 11 to go. When I looked back I saw Dave karate kicking one in the beak and Susan using her stick as a sword and slicing it right down the middle. I grew into a rhythm. Slice, sidestep, thrust, dodge. I kept on going until the 2 remaining parrots flew away.
After 15 minutes they had safely reached the beach. As soon as they came out Susan and I simultaneously shouted "Dad!" We all ran towards him. "There you are," said dad. "Promise me you'll never wander off like that again,". "Dad, we had to mend Richard's wounds and we fought parrots and we..." "Yes I'm sure you had a great time," said the dad sarcastically. "You can tell me all about it when we get home,". So they wondered off towards the house. They told their dad all about it, with Richard interrupting to mention parts Susan missed out. After that they all had dinner and went to bed, and they all hoped this would never happen again!
Your stroy was great. I liked the part when Dave karate kicking one into a rhythm . Also I liked the part when they hoped this would never happen again.But there was a part that I really didn't get it that part was"I don't know,but it doesn't sound. -From. MinJoo
Your stroy was very cool! I liked when the security guard had seen him and shot him from behind and there was a part that I also liked, it was ending.In the ending they faIled over, are they still alive? From Minjoo
Your story was very interesting!! I really liked the ending part, especially when Richard ,Susan and their dad hoped that that story would never happen again!!!!! Maxima.
when i woke up i could smell my mom making tea as usule she made me taust and an egg boom! suddenly a space ship crashed into my tree house then the door swung open out cam Robin Hood and his men Much,Aline,Roy and tuck.Robin had a bow and a sword Much had a sword Aline had two swords and tuck had a spear.When he sow me he said we are looking for gisbune the out low have you seen him because if you tell us we will reward you with 1000c then i asked will you reward me 2000c pleas fine thanks he went to the forist by the lake dawn the rode lets go said Robin thay zoomed of to cach gisbune and i never sow them agan THE END
Nice story Keenan! You made me get hungry because toast is one of my favourite things to eat at breakfast. My favourite part was when the spaceship crashed into your tree house! Maxima
I like the part when suddenly there's a boom and robin hood and his friends come in, bit there's just one problem that you didn't put commas and the spellings are wrong, everything else rocks
I liked your stroy but I really didn't get the part when the Robin thay zoomed of to cach gisbune. But I like the part when the space ship crashed into my tree house. Also I like the part when the Robin had a bow and a sword. From. Minjoo
The two men were nicknamed the killers; they could be hired by people for lots of money. Their latest assignment was to assassinate the president of America and the president of Russia. The identity of their employer was unknown! ''I'll assassinate Obama, and you assassinate Putin.'' suggested Assassin 1 ''Ok.'' agreed Assassin 2, packing his Accuracy International Arctic Warfare sniper carefully into his aluminium-frame bag. Assassin 1 had a belt with 2 Beretta BU9 Nanos and 7 knives. When they both got to their destinations, they weren't ready for the level of security. Assassin 2 ran until the night and slept behind Putin's house. The next morning he sneaked into Putin's house and stabbed Putin and thought ''1 down 1 to go!'' But suddenly he felt a thud in the back of his head and fell to the ground. A security guard had seen him come in and had shot him from behind. Assassin 1 was in the White House with a Beretta BU9 Nano in hand, aiming at Obama's head, seconds away from pulling the trigger, when a security guard stabbed him. With both of them dead, the assignment was over. THEY HAD FAILED!
In this story I like the part that you have told all the names of guns and the story is very interesting because it makes the reader want to read on but how could assassin 2 sleep behind Putin's house aren't there seciurty gaurds
One day at scary and dark, cold night Charlie and Jack was at school because they got some works to do and they had some heavy things and Charlie was trying to carry heavy things. And Jack saw Charlie was trying to carry heavy things. So Jack helped her because he was strong. Then Charlie asked Jack “ Can we go home?”Jack answered “ No!, Because We got some works left” After they finished their work, they were happy because thought they can go out. But all school gates were locked. So they got worried, because they didn’t know how to go out. But there was a smart girl Charlie. So Jack asked “ Is there an idea to go out” And she answered “ I will think about it.” Then Charlie shouted “ I had an idea.” Jack asked “ What is it.” And She answered “We can climb out the main gate.” Jack shouted” You are so smart, So let’s go out.” When they came out, the sky was bright and it was morning. They were so happy, but they were so tired.
Hi MinJoo, I really liked your story very much, especially the part when Charlie got the idea to clime over the fence. I also liked the part when they found out they were locked. At the beginning it really made me gripped to your story. Kind Regards.
I really liked the way you described the settings. I also liked the vocabulary you used instead of said. You could maybe have described the characters a bit more. I can't wait for book 2.
In this story I like the part that you have described the setting so well but were Charlie and Jack were they locked in the school for the whole night because when they entered the school it was dark and when they left the school it was morning
It was Lucy's birthday after two days she was very excited. Her birthday was on the 22nd of March. She was inviting all of her friends. She was getting everything ready. She had to do the baloons and decorations and she went to the kitchen to help her mum with the food. And they made the cake later. It was a strawberry cake with three layers. It was nine o'clock and they went to bed. While they were sleeping, a robber came and took everything he saw. He went upstairs to the rooms and he took everything he saw there as well. When they woke up they noticed that a lot of things were missing. The party was at two o’clock. So they had to be quick and redo everything. When they finished everything, it was fifteen minutes to the party start time.
Dear Ulgen, Your story is very cool!! I loved the part when the robbers came and stole what ever they saw. I am very curios: Did the robbers steal the cake too?? Your Friend Maxima
I really like the part when they wake up and notice that lots of things are missing because if they are surprised i am surprised too!And i think the part when the robber takes everything he saw, was my favourite part .because if we read sneaky stuff,it makes me think how the robber would have felt when he was stealing someone's things
I got really excited when the robbers came. I also loved how you described the cake. Yummy! You could maybe write down something valuable that was stolen.
I loved your stroy!!! I really liked when the robber came and took what ever he saw . Did he took the party food and a cake and the party decoration?I think he took the party food and cake and party decoration because if he see something , he took away. From.Your Friend MinJoo
On the first week of school, Friday night when the lights went off, I forgot to take my homework from my desk. When I entered the school the gates closed behind me. When I realized it was too late. What do you think happened? Well have you ever been locked in school? If you have than you’ll know. For me though it was my very first time. All I could hear was the clock and the water dripping from the broken sink. When I decided to get my homework and put in my bag I noticed somebody behind the curtain. I could definitely tell he was a man with long curly hair and something in his hand. I thought he hasn’t heard me come in, but all of a sudden he turned around to face me. The curtain fell aside and I saw a tall man with beautiful curls in his hair. He looked sad and miserable… “Is there something wrong?” I ask him not understanding why was he so sad. But no answer came. He reminded me of the person who couldn’t speak I saw on TV. Instead he reached out for a piece of paper: I AM SORRY BUT I CAN NOT SPEAK. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE ME AND OUR PLANET THAN COME WITH ME, BUT YOU WILL NEED LOADS OF PAPER BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SPEAK THERE UNLESS YOU BRAKE THE SPELL MADE BY THE ENCHANTRESS. THE WAY THERE IS NOT HARD JUST FOLLOW ME. He wrote. I reached and got some paper from the top shelf. The stranger opened the wardrobe and went in. That very moment everything turned dark and lonely. Anybody we met was just like the stranger. I decided to ask him “Why is everybody so sad and miserable?” I handed him a piece of paper: A LONG TIME AGO THE ENCHANTRESS ENCHANTED OUR LAND AND NOW NOBODY CAN MOVE THEIR LIPS ONLY TO CRY SHE MADE THIS LAND A SAD PLACE TO BE SO EVERYBODY TURNED SAD TO JUST LIKE THE REST OF OUR PLANET. IF YOU FIND THE ENCCHANTRES AND DESTROY HER MAGIC RING THIS PLANET WILL TURN INTO A LOVELY PLACE. “Where does the enchantress live?” I ask handing him a piece of paper: WELL GO STRAIGHT UP THE HILL THEN TURN EAST WHEN YOU COME TO A RIVER SAY “COME, COME LITTLE BOAT” A BOAT WILL COME WHEN YOU ENTER A FOREST FIND A KIND FOREST ANIMAL TO BE YOUR GUIDE YOU CAN GO NOW BUT REMEMBER YOU CAN NOT LIVE IF YOU DON’T DO IT. AND WHEN YOU LOOK FOR GUIDE IT MUST BE ABLE TO TALK.
So I started my journey to the enchantress’s palace. And as the stranger had said I came to a hill. When I started climbing up I noticed the hill was very slippery. I was lucky I was wearing my P.E. kit today because if I was wearing my uniform I would’ve never went up the hill. After I climbed over the hill I started traveling east I came to a lake but only after a two hour walk. “Come, come little boat” I called and suddenly a boat appeared I sat in it and it took me to the other side. In five minutes I came to a forest. There I started looking for a guide. After one hour I found a bunny who asked me “Would you like some help?” “Can you please take me to the enchantress?”I pleaded him. At last I found a guide who will take me to the queen. “Yes I can help you.” He replied. So happily they went through the forest, over another hill and got to a humongous cave full of monsters and snakes. “How do we go through?” I asked. “Well I heard that these animals only com every once an hour. After an hour passed we entered the cave and soon got to the enchantress’s palace. The enchantress’s palace was dark and gloomy craws were flying around the highest tower. The entrance was decorated by skulls and skeletons. When I went in we saw around ten soldiers blocking our way. Suddenly a bell rang and all the soldiers turned their faces in making a passage way for the queen. When the queen entered she was in a good mood, so I decided to trick her. When she started showing us the treasure of her palace I secretly took her ring. When nobody was looking I took a match out and melted it into liquid. Suddenly everything started turning into gases and disappeared. When everything finished I realized I was in my classroom. And the date on the board said Monday.
Wow Amina, You have done a really exciting and long story!!! My favourite part was when you were passing paper's to each other. I also liked when everything was turning into gasses and disappeared. Maxima.
Your stroy was really good and the stroy was really long.I really loved your begging of the stroy but there was a part that I really didn't understand,it was Then trust east when you come to a river say"come,come little animal to be your guide ." From. Min Joo
“Let’s have a picnic, hm…. on Mars?!” “It’s a fantastic idea! I'm in!”. So the two girls, Sara and Jessie went in their magical portal, pressed the button which led them to the red planet Mars. “We are there..... With a cold welcome”, commented Jessie. “As usually!” gossiped Sara in a bad mood. “Don't be that sad everything can happen,” calmed Jessie. “ Well.... Ok.” When the girls set the picnic carpet and were about to eat, Jessie heard a noise coming closer and closer......... ” Who are you??? Are you real??” asked Sara unconfidently. “ Oh, you mean me, I'm the space jaguar. Neptune is my name.” “ Nice to meet you Neptune, do you maybe want to eat with us??” invited Jessie. “ Well, she means a picnic!!” shouted Sara. Neptune agreed. During the great picnic, Neptune told them, about a crazy robot nanny running around with bonnets. He also warned them that if they don't run away the nanny would take one of them and run away to the bonnet house, which is 70 miles away from the picnic place. Jessie was astonished, “What kind of robot nanny? You must be kidding!” “And, where is she then??” complained suspiciously Sara. “ I guess.... Help!! She is right behind you!” screamed Neptune and ran away with Jessie to his spaceship. However Sara was standing still. When she turned around....She started panicking ”HELP!!! DO SOMETHING!!!” Nevertheless it was too late! The crazy robot Nanny grabbed her by her shirt. Sara’s two friends where very afraid and when they successfully blocked the door of the spaceship they covered themselves with the blanket. After few minutes Neptune got out of the blanket and found out that Sara was missing. He looked through the window and… could not see Sara anymore! “Its my fault! I am not a good girl! I didn’t think about my friend! Do something, Neptune! Please!!!!” frightened Jessie begged. Neptune turned his space ship on and flew as fast as he could after the nasty and crazy robot. When they have finally reached a house they first thought it was a pile of bonnets but then they realised that only that crazy nanny could make a house out of the bonnets. Sara was tied to a thick rope on a baby chair inside the bonnet house. “Help!!! This house is so slimy, and I hate this whole bonnets! It even smells like poison!!” Sara could only scream. Now as Jessie and Neptune knew their friend needs help, they ran and opened the door. But when they entered, they stopped and started laughing! Sara was wearing a bonnet!!! “Don't you think you look funny Sara?????” “NO I DONT!!!!!!! Ok?” “Deal, but just be quiet! The nanny is at home,” whispered the jaguar. Just before robot Nanny stumped inside Jessie and Neptune hid behind the smelly closet, they stood as still as statue. Neptune was about to sneeze when the nanny opened the closet he could not bear her poison “perfume”. Neptune sneezed! The frightened crazy robot nanny jumped up too high and reached Pluto with her orange bonnet! In that dramatic moment Jessie managed to untie poor Sara! The two girls and the jaguar escaped to their spaceship to fly away. However before they left Mars Neptune was able to garb the picnic food, because he liked it a lot. It was his first time to taste the food from the Earth. Now they flew away safely. When everyone came back home they found a bonnet hanging on the space ship! ”I don't want to see that bonnet, I guess you know why!” was screaming Sara running away from the spaceship. THE END!!!!
Dear Maxima I think your story is really cool! I really liked the part when Sara was wearing a bonnet. Maybe try reading back beacouse in some parts I couldn't uderstand what youre talking about. Apart from that it was great! Your friend Amina
Your stroy was very awesome! I thinkn this sentence was funny when the sara was wearing the bonnet also I liked when the two girls and the jaguar escaped to thier spaceship to fly away. From. Your friend MinJoo
Hi Heejae,***** Thanks for your incredible comment!!! Do you really think i could make whole story book with this story, I will surely try to!!!!!!!!!!!
One rainy day Charlie and Peter were dropped of to go to school. When Charlie opened the door Peter asked "do yo think anyone is gonna be here at school"?Then Peter tried opening the classroom door but it was locked and it was pitch black.Charlie was going to go back outside but the main door slammed right in to Charlie's face.peter started looking around the dark and scary hall and he found an exit sign and walked outside and their mum arrived just in time to pick them up...
Hi Nicholas, Your story opening was very interesting! I really liked the part when the door slammed into Charlie's face, I also liked when Peter asked if someone would be at school. You could improve on writing a whole story. Maxima
I liked your stroy but your stroy was short.But still I liked it.Especially when the door slammed right into Charlies's face.But I really didn't get this part, it was when the Peter strated looking around the dark and scary hall. From. MinJoo
Sam had gone for a walk at late night, it was cold and dark."I am getting tired," moaned Sam. Suddenly Sam started to here fpotsteps. "Who can be on the streets so late?" Questioned Sam Then he turned around and saw a man in black holding an axe. "Ahhhhh" screamed.
Sam then ran as fast as he could but soon fell down, the man in black holding an axe was still coming. Sam got up just in time and went into a forest, he started running to hut but stopped because the man in black was no where to be seen. Suddenly the man in black attacked from the back but Sam dodged and headed in to a hut, got a knife and through it on the man in black holding an axe
Sam then took the dead body to the police station. When the police let Sam go. He returned home and told his mother everything, from that night on Sam's mother never let him go anywhere from that night on
Hi Ali, Great story you've made up!!!!! My favourite part was when Sam shouted Ahhhhh!! I also liked when Sam's mom said she would not let him go out alone any more!!! Maxima.
"crash"The window was broken and everyone woke up and searched for the thief Suddenly ,someone pushed and rolled down the hill.It was the thief !and the policeman was waiting for him. The policeman opened the sack that the thief was holding and found a magic key. When the thief hold the magic key,his hands disappeared!And when the policeman touched it turned into lots of gold. when people heard about it they always visited the policeman. Because he wanted them to become famous .But,instead of bieng famous he got into trouble because,when he touched someone ,they turned into statues...So,when their family noticed that they turned into some statues ,they said "It is not fair !" So the policeman had to go to the prison.
In the biggining I really like the part when suddenly theres a crash but you shouldn't have told they started looking for the thief because it took away all the excitement.
Your stroy was short but it was really cool and interesting!!!I liked when the policeman opended the sack that the thief was hold the magic key and I also liked when the policeman when to the prison. Did the policeman get in trouble when went to the prison? From.Your Friend MinJoo
Hi Maxima ! Thank you for the advice! I also liked your story. The part when the policeman go to the to the jail,was the one that i had to think .Because if i didn't put that part it won't be interesting.
Well,i wrote my story short because ,i didn't wanted people to feel gripped about my story.Was it really cool? Because i don't really think my story is that cool.
The ghost in the jungle: In a jungle was a house, there lived 4 people. Her sister went to New York and his parents died. He was left alone in his house. One night he was returning from a party. In his house suddenly the lights went of. He went up to his room and saw a girl sitting in front of him it looked like his sister RING "hello this is your sister speaking I am coming back from New York". "Aren't you sitting in front of me?" questioned Thomas." NO".I have to get out this house. He went out, but his house started turning brown to black! After 5 years Thomas started his business and lived at his sisters house
Hi! It is me Heejae .I really like this story . Iliked the part when the house turning brown to black and the part when he saw the ghost.I think your story is very exciting!!
Hi Achintya, Your story was very interesting!!!!! My favourite part was when Thomas was talking to the ghost from the jungle, and the part when Thomas and his sister lived together. Maxima
I really liked the idea of having a house in the jungle. I also liked the vocabulary that you used instead of said. Though it may have been better if used more adjectives. Your friend Thomas
Your stroy was interesting. I liked when the after 5years Thomas started his business. But there was a part that I really didn't understand it was when the Thomas sister went to Newyork and his parents died. From. MinJoo
One sunny morning there was a clear passage showing a way to a light house. Lilly thought it will be great thing to do. Lucy her little sister thought not. "So lets go" yelled Lilly with excitement. "No" replied Lucy "no I do not want to go". "Why"? Questioned Lilly. Lucy didn't reply. "Fine then" cried Lilly, "what, I can't let you go alone" exclaimed Lucy. "Then come with me"! Expressed Lilly. "Ok" answered Lucy.
So they both went on the trail leading them intro thick dark clouds covering the path. "Let's go home" cried Lucy with drips of fear going down her face as she tried her head side to side wondering what could be there. "Come in its right up ahead" yelled Lilly grabbing her hand and ran up the path. When they got there the light house seemed empty. "Come on Lilly lets go home!" Cried Lucy with fear still dropping down her face. " No "replied Lilly "its to late for that to happen". So they walked inside the light house to see what's there. Bam! The door closed. "Ah" Lucy screamed. "Shh" replied Lilly." I told you we shouldn't of come here" explained Lucy. "Shh, what's that?" Questioned Lilly. They turned around...
And saw a bunny. They ran up to it and started to pet it. The bunny got bigger and bigger and bigger, until the bunny got upon its two legs and yelled. An old sweet lady ran down the stairs with a broom and started hitting the bunny until it gotten smaller. The old lady in a sweet voice asked "what are you doing here?"
"Mmm" we both questioned. Before we finished she asked "do you want some tea with me?" "Yes" screamed Lilly and Lucy. "So come on up" answered the lady. When we where walking up the stairs she told us her name, Sara Fred Dina Louis. Sara told us about how the light house was enchanted by a spell which turned everything upside down. Sara also said that her family was living ever since 1971. "Even today everyone wants me to move out" said Sara. "But I wouldn't let them have it. ". When we sat down she told us about her childhood and how it was a sacrifice to live through it. When we where done she took us outside and lead us down to the middle of the path. She let us go from there. When we made it to the end of the path our mother there in pain saw us. "Where have you been?" Questioned our mom. As we where getting hugged we did not reply but she was still happy to see us as we walked away. But we still do not know who the witch is and why.
I was getting into the elevator when I accidentally pressed the wrong button; 33 1/2. I went up and up in the elevator until he finally reached the floor. When he gets out the first thing he sees is a white transparent body... A ghost. "Hello mortal. I see you have come to join the party. Unfortunately, it is my party! Guards, get him!" Now getting strangled by a ghost is worse than you think. I quickly realised they could go through you when they wanted, but you couldn't run through them. When they got hold of me they put me in a cell. There was only some dry bread and water for food. I was about to go to sleep when I saw something move...
"Hello, I am the man in black. I am friendly and I have come here to give you this." He gave me a silver sword with a 50 cm long blade. When I held it I felt it was perfectly balanced too. "Silver is the only metal that kills ghosts. The slaves are humans made into ghosts. You will be one if you don't defeat the ghost king. You must also tell no one about this, and hit the slaves with the sword after the king is defeated." Then he just vanished into thin air.
I cut open the door and ran at the king. He didn't see me coming but managed to dodge my strike. "Foolish boy. No metals harm ghosts. Copper, gold, bronze, steel." said the king "How about silver" I shouted and charged again. This time I got lucky and hit him right in the hip. "OOWWWW!" screamed the ghost as he slowly dissolved.
After hitting all the slaves there was a full room of confused humans. I got in the elevator and went up to the 34th floor. I still kept my promise not to tell anyone and the day went on as usual.
It was a rainy cold night and the wind was blowing but that day I had to go to outer space. The countdown was about to begin and I was set to go. 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BLASTOFF!!!! I was feeling jerks in the beginning but in no time I was in outer space. It was pitch black and suddenly I heard a thud and my rocket was going down, mission control do you read me do you read me but my rocket crashed.
I also started to wonder how is there gravity on this planet and saw a sign on a board Planet Muschtafi. Suddenly I heard a tap on my back and someone said how you dare step on the planet Muschtafi without permission or invitation I said my srocket crashed can you help me build a knew one I will call more of the Muschtafi citizens. Another alien came and said you need help to build a rocket I said can you provide me with one ok said the alien come with me. I saw a huge saucer with some water guns on it, this is the last one we have but you can take it.
Can you do a favor for us take us with you why not come along. On the way back I felt real happy but with that a bit confused. When we reached I noticed that I forgot it was Christmas so I celebrated Christmas and we wished each other happy Christmas. THE END
In 2020 NASA found out a much better way to fly into space, allowing people to fly as far as Jupiter. On the 29th of October 2027 the space craft was ready to launch. The astronauts on board were Peter Richardson and John Smith. When the flight finally took of it was 20:34. "All scales are positive. You have made a successful lift-off!" said the mission controller.
After a few days in space they heard the mission controller saying that they had miss aimed our course and we were now 45 degrees off course. They were heading towards an unknown planet. Now the astronauts started to panic. Then suddenly CRASH. They now saw it close up. They went to search for anything and found a green alien. "EEEKKK!" the astronauts shouted. "We have seen your ship and you may need another way home. We may have one solution. We have been working on an ancient portal that can be used only once. You can use it, but you will only be able to get yourselves through without your baggage." said the alien. "Thank you very much!!!" said the astronauts.
So the very next day they got into the portal and found themselves on the field next to the space station. They told the mission controllers all about the mission and found out it was Christmas Eve. So they celebrated Christmas normally and had a great New Year.
It was May, 2314. Today a rocket would be launched that would make history. "Everyone ready?" Asked one of the astronauts. "Yes all the readings look good, commence countdown." "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Houston we have lift-of!!!" Said mission control. Moments later the rocket shot out of the earth's atmosphere and into the galaxy beyond! After a while they came upon a cluster of planets. "Hey, look that's the planet we're supposed to land on," exclaimed one of the astronauts. "Oh yeah, we just have to make a 90 degree turn to land on it!" agreed the other astronaut. One of the astronauts pressed the button and suddenly the ship jerked right, but one of the astronauts asked, "Aren't we supposed to turn left?" said his college observing the flight plan. "Oh no I pressed the wrong button!!!" Suddenly there was a giant CRASH!! Moments later they all jumped out of their now useless ship. "What are we going to do?!" wept one of the astronauts. "Put your hands above your head or I'll shoot!!" ordered a little green man. "Why are you here?" he asked. "Please, we mean no harm but its a long story," said the astronauts. "I have all the time in the galaxy," said the alien. After lots of explaining the alien forgave them and gave them a rocket to fly back on, and they all got back safely.
In Ancient Greece there lived a terrifying creature called the Snull. It was half bull, half snake with big red eyes and two massive horns and frightened everybody who lived in Persia. The royal family had had enough of it and decided to have a meeting with the priests. They agreed they would ask everybody if they wanted to kill the Snull. If they did they would be promised great riches and land. Now no one would volunteer as they weren't wanting to risk their lives even with such a reward possible.
At last Dromes, the Prince of Persia decided to do it himself. He asked his dad, King Taurus if he could do it. Taurus said no. So Dromes decided to dress as a villager and volunteer. The King said yes as he didn't know who the villager was. Soon after Dromes went to different villages to ask where he could find the Snull. He was dressed normally but never told anyone he was prince. In the meanwhile Taurus was going bonkers trying to find Dromes but just couldn't find him.
Dromes kept asking until he came across a cave with rotten bones and fur everywhere. At once he knew he had found the Snull. He went in to the cave and found nothing. he then listened carefully and could hear a blocked up scream. He followed the sound until the cave got lighter and could see a girl tied up to a pole. He helped her undo the ropes so she could speak. She told Dromes that the Snull had taken her and was going to eat her. She said it was away terrorising a town and stealing more people for food. I'll hide when he comes and attack him from behind said Dromes while keep it distracted. I hope it works!
Everything went according to plan and as planned. While the Snull was distracted Dromes attacked from behind. But just when Dromes was about to strike the Snull moved away to admire his new meal. Seeing Dromes he got very angry and used his horns to flick him off the ground. Dromes landed on the creature's back and kept on smacking it's head and after 2 minutes the Snull fell on the floor. Dromes then stabbed it in the heart and watched as it let out it's last groan. He then freed everybody else and went home.
When back at the palace he put on his disguise and gave the Snull's head to King Taurus. As he was about to collect his prize he revealed his true identity to everyone. There was a long silence until Taurus said he could not give the prize to the prince. Then the kind Dromes suggested that they give it to the villagers. Taurus approved and there was a big cheer. "All hail Prince Dromes!" everybody shouted in unison. They then went off to bed and lived happily ever after.
It was a normal sunny day at Honolulu Beach. The beach was very crowded. People were swimming in the sea. Some people were eating at a café. Others were sunbathing in the 30 degree sun. Everyone was having a great time until CRACK.
ReplyDelete"What was that!" screamed Susan. "I don't know, but it doesn't sound ...," his voice was interrupted as he went flying through the air. The next thing he knew he was on a riverbed
surrounded by Susan and someone else. "Hi, I'm Dave," he said shyly. "Hi I'm Richard" he moaned. "Where am I?" he asked. "You're at the Oahu river about a kilometre from the beach. We dragged you all the way here to wash you're wounds,". Then for the first time he realized that he had 7 scars on his legs 2 on his hands and 4 on his elbows. "We'll have to get to the beach," whispered Dave. I could tell he was a bit shy. "I think we should get a stick if we have to fight, a bottle of water and then we get out of here," muttered Richard.
In a few minutes they had started walking. They had gotten about halfway before "HACK".
There stood a dozen parrots with red beady looking eyes and big teeth. I tried to stay calm and yelled "Sticks ready!". I ran towards the parrots. One tried biting me but I sidestepped and hit it in the ribs. 1 down, 11 to go. When I looked back I saw Dave karate kicking one in the beak and Susan using her stick as a sword and slicing it right down the middle. I grew into a rhythm. Slice, sidestep, thrust, dodge. I kept on going until the 2 remaining parrots flew away.
After 15 minutes they had safely reached the beach. As soon as they came out Susan and I simultaneously shouted "Dad!" We all ran towards him. "There you are," said dad.
"Promise me you'll never wander off like that again,". "Dad, we had to mend Richard's wounds and we fought parrots and we..." "Yes I'm sure you had a great time," said the dad sarcastically. "You can tell me all about it when we get home,". So they wondered off towards the house. They told their dad all about it, with Richard interrupting to mention parts Susan missed out. After that they all had dinner and went to bed, and they all hoped this would never happen again!
Very nice and good describing
Deletewhy parrots
I think the idea was very good, but you could improve the weapons and make it more realistic.
Deleteİ like the settings and your idea of the parrots.
DeleteI like it. Especially when you put Crack suddenly.
Deletesincerely achintya
Very nice Thomas especially when you put crack.
DeleteDear Thomas Norden
DeleteYour stroy was great. I liked the part when Dave karate kicking one into a rhythm . Also I liked the part when they hoped this would never happen again.But there was a part that I really didn't get it that part was"I don't know,but it doesn't sound. -From. MinJoo
Dear Arthur
DeleteYour stroy was very cool! I liked when the security guard had seen him and shot him from behind and there was a part that I also liked, it was ending.In the ending they faIled over, are they still alive? From Minjoo
Hi Thomas,
DeleteYour story was very interesting!!
I really liked the ending part, especially when Richard ,Susan and their dad hoped that that story would never happen again!!!!!
Maxima.
I like this story because you have used so much speech and I like the part when there is a crack but you have put information which shouldn't be there
DeleteI like the name of your beach and I liked it when you said there stood a dozen of parrots
DeleteYour story is funny .But you didn't write why Dave went flying through the air.
Deletewhen i woke up i could smell my mom making tea as usule she made me taust and an egg boom! suddenly a space ship crashed into my tree house then the door swung open out cam Robin Hood and his men Much,Aline,Roy and tuck.Robin had a bow and a sword Much had a sword Aline had two swords and tuck had a spear.When he sow me he said we are looking for gisbune the out low have you seen him because if you tell us we will reward you with 1000c then i asked will you reward me 2000c pleas fine thanks he went to the forist by the lake dawn the rode lets go said Robin thay zoomed of to cach gisbune and i never sow them agan
ReplyDeleteTHE END
Nice names Keenan. I don't really get the Robin Hood part but apart from that, awesome.
DeleteI think your story is very creative but i don't really understand the Robin Hood part.
DeleteVery funny Thomas N
DeleteNice story Keenan!
DeleteYou made me get hungry because toast is one of my favourite things to eat at breakfast.
My favourite part was when the spaceship crashed into your tree house!
Maxima
İ like the tree house and the door swung open.
DeleteI like the part when suddenly there's a boom and robin hood and his friends come in, bit there's just one problem that you didn't put commas and the spellings are wrong, everything else rocks
DeleteVery nice Kenaan I liked the names but be careful of your spelling mistakes.
Deletesincerely achintya
You have done a good job but be careful of your spelling mistakes.
DeleteDear Keenan
DeleteI liked your stroy but I really didn't get the part when the Robin thay zoomed of to cach gisbune. But I like the part when the space ship crashed into my tree house. Also I like the part when the Robin had a bow and a sword. From. Minjoo
I liked the part when the space ship crashed in to your house and when you asked for money but you also need to improve your spelling but it was good.
DeleteHi Nicholas thank you for the feedback
DeleteHi Achintya thank you for the incuregmunt
DeleteHi Heejae Robin hood was the first name that I could think of at the time
DeleteHi Ulgen thanks for the feedback
DeleteThe two men were nicknamed the killers; they could be hired by people for lots of money. Their latest assignment was to assassinate the president of America and the president of Russia. The identity of their employer was unknown!
ReplyDelete''I'll assassinate Obama, and you assassinate Putin.'' suggested Assassin 1 ''Ok.'' agreed Assassin 2, packing his Accuracy International Arctic Warfare sniper carefully into his aluminium-frame bag. Assassin 1 had a belt with 2 Beretta BU9 Nanos and 7 knives. When they both got to their destinations, they weren't ready for the level of security. Assassin 2 ran until the night and slept behind Putin's house. The next morning he sneaked into Putin's house and stabbed Putin and thought ''1 down 1 to go!'' But suddenly he felt a thud in the back of his head and fell to the ground. A security guard had seen him come in and had shot him from behind. Assassin 1 was in the White House with a Beretta BU9 Nano in hand, aiming at Obama's head, seconds away from pulling the trigger, when a security guard stabbed him. With both of them dead, the assignment was over. THEY HAD FAILED!
Very umm........... war like.
DeleteWhy killers
DeleteDear Arthur,
DeleteI am really happy to know that Putin survived from those nasty killers!!!!!
Maxima!
İnteresting names. The security guard came just on time.
DeleteI liked it , they used snipers. They worked for Obama.
Deletesincerely achintya
Nice my friend I liked it when you added the assasians.
Deletei liked the names of the assassins and when he said ill assassinate Obama.
DeleteIn this story I like the part that you have told all the names of guns and the story is very interesting because it makes the reader want to read on but how could assassin 2 sleep behind Putin's house aren't there seciurty gaurds
DeleteI think i liked the story but i don't really understand it.
DeleteTo Keenan,
Deletethey were killers because who else would assassinate two presidents?
Monkeys!?
Dear Arthur
DeleteI liked the story and that you put the name for the killers was asassins.
Title: The Jack and charlie got lost at school
ReplyDeleteOne day at scary and dark, cold night Charlie and Jack was at school because they got some works to do and they had some heavy things and Charlie was trying to carry heavy things. And Jack saw Charlie was trying to carry heavy things. So Jack helped her because he was strong. Then Charlie asked Jack “ Can we go home?”Jack answered “ No!, Because We got some works left”
After they finished their work, they were happy because thought they can go out. But all school gates were locked. So they got worried, because they didn’t know how to go out. But there was a smart girl Charlie.
So Jack asked “ Is there an idea to go out” And she answered “ I will think about it.” Then Charlie shouted “ I had an idea.” Jack asked “ What is it.” And She answered “We can climb out the main gate.”
Jack shouted” You are so smart, So let’s go out.” When they came out, the sky was bright and it was morning. They were so happy, but they were so tired.
Hi MinJoo,
DeleteI really liked your story very much, especially the part when Charlie got the idea to clime over the fence. I also liked the part when they found out they were locked. At the beginning it really made me gripped to your story.
Kind Regards.
I think your story is so awesome.Ilike the part when they get out of the school.
DeleteNice story Minjoo oh and good description
DeleteI really liked the way you described the settings. I also liked the vocabulary you used instead of said. You could maybe have described the characters a bit more. I can't wait for book 2.
Deleteİ liked your story realy much.İt was a good idea to climb over the fence.
DeleteNice story name. I liked it when when you wrote the last part.
DeleteSincerely achintya
Nice heading. Iiked the last part.
DeleteIn this story I like the part that you have described the setting so well but were Charlie and Jack were they locked in the school for the whole night because when they entered the school it was dark and when they left the school it was morning
DeleteI really likeed the part when they noticed that they were locked.
DeleteIf i was Jack i would have said yes to Charlie because i would have felt scared.
Dear Maxima,
DeleteThanks for your comment.I hope you liked my stroy!!!
Dear Ulgen,
Thank you for your comment , your comment was so nice!!!
Dear Heejae,
You wrote nice comment so thank you for it!!!
Dear Keenan,
You wrote good comment for my stroy. Thank you!
Dear Achintya,
I liked the way you wrote my comment. Thanks!
Dear Thomas.N,
Your comment was nice. Thanks!
From. MinJoo
It was Lucy's birthday after two days she was very excited. Her birthday was on the 22nd of March. She was inviting all of her friends. She was getting everything ready. She had to do the baloons and decorations and she went to the kitchen to help her mum with the food. And they made the cake later. It was a strawberry cake with three layers.
ReplyDeleteIt was nine o'clock and they went to bed. While they were sleeping, a robber came and took everything he saw. He went upstairs to the rooms and he took everything he saw there as well. When they woke up they noticed that a lot of things were missing.
The party was at two o’clock. So they had to be quick and redo everything. When they finished everything, it was fifteen minutes to the party start time.
Dear Ulgen, Your story is very cool!! I loved the part when the robbers came and stole what ever they saw. I am very curios: Did the robbers steal the cake too??
DeleteYour Friend Maxima
I really like the part when they wake up and notice that lots of things are missing because if they are surprised i am surprised too!And i think the part when the robber takes everything he saw, was my favourite part .because if we read sneaky stuff,it makes me think how the robber would have felt when he was stealing someone's things
DeleteNice story good description mayby next time make it a bit longer
DeleteI got really excited when the robbers came. I also loved how you described the cake. Yummy! You could maybe write down something valuable that was stolen.
DeleteHi Ulgen
DeleteI liked your story really much! My favourite part was when they had to redo everything. I think your story is really cool!
Wow I liked it . I wish I could eat the strawberry 3 layerd cake.
DeleteNice story. I wish I could eat the strawberry 3 layerd cake.
DeleteDear Ulgen
DeleteI loved your stroy!!! I really liked when the robber came and took what ever he saw . Did he took the party food and a cake and the party decoration?I think he took the party food and cake and party decoration because if he see something , he took away. From.Your Friend MinJoo
In this story I like the part when the robber steals everything but the story ends with something I think is not an ending.
DeleteOn the first week of school, Friday night when the lights went off, I forgot to take my homework from my desk. When I entered the school the gates closed behind me. When I realized it was too late. What do you think happened? Well have you ever been locked in school? If you have than you’ll know. For me though it was my very first time. All I could hear was the clock and the water dripping from the broken sink. When I decided to get my homework and put in my bag I noticed somebody behind the curtain. I could definitely tell he was a man with long curly hair and something in his hand. I thought he hasn’t heard me come in, but all of a sudden he turned around to face me. The curtain fell aside and I saw a tall man with beautiful curls in his hair. He looked sad and miserable…
ReplyDelete“Is there something wrong?” I ask him not understanding why was he so sad. But no answer came. He reminded me of the person who couldn’t speak I saw on TV. Instead he reached out for a piece of paper: I AM SORRY BUT I CAN NOT SPEAK. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE ME AND OUR PLANET THAN COME WITH ME, BUT YOU WILL NEED LOADS OF PAPER BECAUSE NOBODY CAN SPEAK THERE UNLESS YOU BRAKE THE SPELL MADE BY THE ENCHANTRESS. THE WAY THERE IS NOT HARD JUST FOLLOW ME. He wrote.
I reached and got some paper from the top shelf. The stranger opened the wardrobe and went in. That very moment everything turned dark and lonely. Anybody we met was just like the stranger. I decided to ask him “Why is everybody so sad and miserable?” I handed him a piece of paper: A LONG TIME AGO THE ENCHANTRESS ENCHANTED OUR LAND AND NOW NOBODY CAN MOVE THEIR LIPS ONLY TO CRY SHE MADE THIS LAND A SAD PLACE TO BE SO EVERYBODY TURNED SAD TO JUST LIKE THE REST OF OUR PLANET. IF YOU FIND THE ENCCHANTRES AND DESTROY HER MAGIC RING THIS PLANET WILL TURN INTO A LOVELY PLACE. “Where does the enchantress live?” I ask handing him a piece of paper: WELL GO STRAIGHT UP THE HILL THEN TURN EAST WHEN YOU COME TO A RIVER SAY “COME, COME LITTLE BOAT” A BOAT WILL COME WHEN YOU ENTER A FOREST FIND A KIND FOREST ANIMAL TO BE YOUR GUIDE YOU CAN GO NOW BUT REMEMBER YOU CAN NOT LIVE IF YOU DON’T DO IT. AND WHEN YOU LOOK FOR GUIDE IT MUST BE ABLE TO TALK.
So I started my journey to the enchantress’s palace. And as the stranger had said I came to a hill. When I started climbing up I noticed the hill was very slippery. I was lucky I was wearing my P.E. kit today because if I was wearing my uniform I would’ve never went up the hill. After I climbed over the hill I started traveling east I came to a lake but only after a two hour walk. “Come, come little boat” I called and suddenly a boat appeared I sat in it and it took me to the other side. In five minutes I came to a forest. There I started looking for a guide. After one hour I found a bunny who asked me “Would you like some help?” “Can you please take me to the enchantress?”I pleaded him. At last I found a guide who will take me to the queen. “Yes I can help you.” He replied. So happily they went through the forest, over another hill and got to a humongous cave full of monsters and snakes. “How do we go through?” I asked. “Well I heard that these animals only com every once an hour. After an hour passed we entered the cave and soon got to the enchantress’s palace.
The enchantress’s palace was dark and gloomy craws were flying around the highest tower. The entrance was decorated by skulls and skeletons. When I went in we saw around ten soldiers blocking our way. Suddenly a bell rang and all the soldiers turned their faces in making a passage way for the queen. When the queen entered she was in a good mood, so I decided to trick her. When she started showing us the treasure of her palace I secretly took her ring. When nobody was looking I took a match out and melted it into liquid.
Suddenly everything started turning into gases and disappeared. When everything finished I realized I was in my classroom. And the date on the board said Monday.
Wow Amina, You have done a really exciting and long story!!! My favourite part was when you were passing paper's to each other.
DeleteI also liked when everything was turning into gasses and disappeared.
Maxima.
exalant tescription mayby next time put sum more speach in
DeleteI liked the way you described the school and the cave. Next time you could more full stops.
DeleteYour story was interesting.Mostly when the man said follow me.
DeleteWow amina you wrote a lot it took me like10 minutes to read. I liked it when you had to broke the spell of enchantress.
DeleteWow amina you wrote a lot I liked it when you had to broke the spell that the enchantress.
DeleteI think it was a great think it was the best story i'v ever heard!! My favourite part was when you got locked and found a man who couldn't speak
DeleteI like the part when the guy who cant speak is behind the curtain and was it a dream because I really want to know.
DeleteDear Amina
DeleteYour stroy was really good and the stroy was really long.I really loved your begging of the stroy but there was a part that I really didn't understand,it was Then trust east when you come to a river say"come,come little animal to be your guide ." From. Min Joo
Hi Ali
DeleteThat was one of my favourite parts too!
And no it was not a dream.
Hello Achitntya
DeleteThank you for your nice comment.I liked that part too!
Hi Ulgen
DeleteThank you for your comment.
The picnic on Mars.
ReplyDelete“Let’s have a picnic, hm…. on Mars?!”
“It’s a fantastic idea! I'm in!”.
So the two girls, Sara and Jessie went in their magical portal, pressed the button which led them to the red planet Mars.
“We are there..... With a cold welcome”, commented Jessie.
“As usually!” gossiped Sara in a bad mood.
“Don't be that sad everything can happen,” calmed Jessie.
“ Well.... Ok.”
When the girls set the picnic carpet and were about to eat, Jessie heard a noise coming closer and closer.........
” Who are you??? Are you real??” asked Sara unconfidently.
“ Oh, you mean me, I'm the space jaguar. Neptune is my name.”
“ Nice to meet you Neptune, do you maybe want to eat with us??” invited Jessie.
“ Well, she means a picnic!!” shouted Sara. Neptune agreed.
During the great picnic, Neptune told them, about a crazy robot nanny running around with bonnets. He also warned them that if they don't run away the nanny would take one of them and run away to the bonnet house, which is 70 miles away from the picnic place.
Jessie was astonished, “What kind of robot nanny? You must be kidding!”
“And, where is she then??” complained suspiciously Sara.
“ I guess.... Help!! She is right behind you!” screamed Neptune and ran away with Jessie to his spaceship. However Sara was standing still. When she turned around....She started panicking ”HELP!!! DO SOMETHING!!!” Nevertheless it was too late! The crazy robot Nanny grabbed her by her shirt.
Sara’s two friends where very afraid and when they successfully blocked the door of the spaceship they covered themselves with the blanket. After few minutes Neptune got out of the blanket and found out that Sara was missing. He looked through the window and… could not see Sara anymore!
“Its my fault! I am not a good girl! I didn’t think about my friend! Do something, Neptune! Please!!!!” frightened Jessie begged.
Neptune turned his space ship on and flew as fast as he could after the nasty and crazy robot. When they have finally reached a house they first thought it was a pile of bonnets but then they realised that only that crazy nanny could make a house out of the bonnets.
Sara was tied to a thick rope on a baby chair inside the bonnet house.
“Help!!! This house is so slimy, and I hate this whole bonnets! It even smells like poison!!” Sara could only scream.
Now as Jessie and Neptune knew their friend needs help, they ran and opened the door. But when they entered, they stopped and started laughing!
Sara was wearing a bonnet!!!
“Don't you think you look funny Sara?????”
“NO I DONT!!!!!!! Ok?”
“Deal, but just be quiet! The nanny is at home,” whispered the jaguar.
Just before robot Nanny stumped inside Jessie and Neptune hid behind the smelly closet, they stood as still as statue. Neptune was about to sneeze when the nanny opened the closet he could not bear her poison “perfume”.
Neptune sneezed! The frightened crazy robot nanny jumped up too high and reached Pluto with her orange bonnet! In that dramatic moment Jessie managed to untie poor Sara!
The two girls and the jaguar escaped to their spaceship to fly away. However before they left Mars Neptune was able to garb the picnic food, because he liked it a lot. It was his first time to taste the food from the Earth.
Now they flew away safely.
When everyone came back home they found a bonnet hanging on the space ship!
”I don't want to see that bonnet, I guess you know why!” was screaming Sara running away from the spaceship.
THE END!!!!
Hi! Iam Heejae. I really liked the story also it was so long that i think you can even make a book with this story!!!!!!!!
DeleteDear Maxima
DeleteI think your story is really cool! I really liked the part when Sara was wearing a
bonnet. Maybe try reading back beacouse in some parts I couldn't uderstand what youre talking about. Apart from that it was great!
Your friend Amina
İnteresting idea of a picnic on mars.İ got worried when Sara went missing.
DeleteA picinic on mars? Who's idea was that.
DeleteA picnic on mars? Who's idea was that.
DeleteIn this story I like the part when Neptune comes and tells about the scary robot and how can you have a picnic on Mars, is it a fairy tail.
DeleteDear Maxima
DeleteYour stroy was very awesome! I thinkn this sentence was funny when the sara was wearing the bonnet also I liked when the two girls and the jaguar escaped to thier spaceship to fly away. From. Your friend MinJoo
Hi Heejae,*****
DeleteThanks for your incredible comment!!!
Do you really think i could make whole story book with this story, I will surely try to!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Ali,
DeleteOf course my story is a fairy tale, but some of the parts are real!!!
I'm glad you liked my story!!!
Hi Achintya,
Deleteas you wanted to know who could come up with such a crazy story, it was me!!!
Hope you enjoyed it!!!!
Maxima.
Hi Ulgen!!
DeleteThank you for your great comment!!!
Don't you just think that nanny would be fixed!!!!!!!
Maxima.
Hi Amina,
DeleteMy favourite part was also when Sara was wearing a bonnet!!!!!
I will check everything like you said.
Maxima.
One rainy day Charlie and Peter were dropped of to go to school. When Charlie opened the door Peter asked "do yo think anyone is gonna be here at school"?Then Peter tried opening the classroom door but it was locked and it was pitch black.Charlie was going to go back outside but the main door slammed right in to Charlie's face.peter started looking around the dark and scary hall and he found an exit sign and walked outside and their mum arrived just in time to pick them up...
ReplyDeleteI think your story is very mysterious! So i like it.
DeleteHi Nicholas,
DeleteYour story opening was very interesting! I really liked the part when the door slammed into Charlie's face, I also liked when Peter asked if someone would be at school. You could improve on writing a whole story. Maxima
Very nice story mayby next time make it bite longer
DeleteHi Nicholas,
DeleteI liked the way you described the day and the hallway. Next time you could maybe finish it.
Your friend Thomas
İt was strange when the main door slammed into Charlie's face.
DeleteNice Nicolas .Especially when it was pitch black.
DeleteIn this story I like the part its raining but the rest I don't understand that much
DeleteDear Nichols
DeleteI liked your stroy but your stroy was short.But still I liked it.Especially when the door slammed right into Charlies's face.But I really didn't get this part, it was when the Peter strated looking around the dark and scary hall. From. MinJoo
Thanks Keenan but i also think i should make it longer
DeleteThanks Achintya and i also liked the bit when it was pitch black
DeleteThanks Thomas Norden i would finish it but i wont have time to but thnx
DeleteThnx Maxima charlie did get really hurt when the door slammed into his face.
DeleteThnx Minjoo i know it was short i also liked the door slamming into his face.
DeleteSam had gone for a walk at late night, it was cold and dark."I am getting
ReplyDeletetired," moaned Sam. Suddenly Sam started to here fpotsteps. "Who can be on the streets so late?" Questioned Sam Then he turned around and saw a man in black holding an axe. "Ahhhhh" screamed.
Sam then ran as fast as he could but soon fell down, the man in black holding an axe was still coming. Sam got up just in time and went into a forest, he started running to hut but stopped because the man in black was no where to be seen. Suddenly the man in black attacked from the back but Sam dodged and headed in to a hut, got a knife and through it on the man in black holding an axe
Sam then took the dead body to the police station. When the police let Sam go. He returned home and told his mother everything, from that night on Sam's mother never let him go anywhere from that night on
Hi Ali,
DeleteGreat story you've made up!!!!!
My favourite part was when Sam shouted Ahhhhh!! I also liked when Sam's mom said she would not let him go out alone any more!!!
Maxima.
nice and spoocy oh and mayby next time put some more spech in it
DeleteI liked the vocabulary you used. I was really hooked when you mentioned the man in black. Next time read it through after you've finished.
Deleteİ liked it when Sam heard footsteps.
DeleteNice Ali. When you added ahhhhh in your story I liked it.
DeleteNice story ! But i think the story was cruel......
DeleteDear Ali
DeleteYour stroy was great.I liked when the Sam returned home and told his mother everything.Did the Sam never went out again? From. MinJoo
Minjoo thanks for your comments and Sam never went for a walk ever again.
DeleteHeejae thanks for liking my story but the story was not cruel it was rather scary.
DeleteThank you very much Thomas.N and I will read my story again next time, feedback taken.
DeleteKeenan thanks for your advice and saying it was spooky I took it as a compliment.
DeleteThanks for your compliments very kind of you Maxima
Delete"crash"The window was broken and everyone woke up and searched for the thief Suddenly ,someone pushed and rolled down the hill.It was the thief !and the policeman was waiting for him. The policeman opened the sack that the thief was holding and found a magic key. When the thief hold the magic key,his hands disappeared!And when the policeman touched it turned into lots of gold. when people heard about it they always visited the policeman. Because he wanted them to become famous .But,instead of bieng famous he got into trouble because,when he touched someone ,they turned into statues...So,when their family noticed that they turned into some statues ,they said
ReplyDelete"It is not fair !" So the policeman had to go to the prison.
Dear HeeJae,
DeleteYour story was great!!!!!!!!
I loved the part when the policeman had to go to jail. Don't forget your dot's!!
Maxima
I liked the idea of a magic key and turning people to statues. Next time write about the thief and what he had done.
DeleteThe story was interesting when they found a magic key.
DeleteHee jae I liked the way you used crash on the beginning.
DeleteIn the biggining I really like the part when suddenly theres a crash but you shouldn't have told they started looking for the thief because it took away all the excitement.
DeleteDear Hee Jae
DeleteYour stroy was short but it was really cool and interesting!!!I liked when the policeman opended the sack that the thief was hold the magic key and I also liked when the policeman when to the prison. Did the policeman get in trouble when went to the prison? From.Your Friend MinJoo
Hi Maxima ! Thank you for the advice!
DeleteI also liked your story.
The part when the policeman go to the to the jail,was the one that i had to think .Because if i didn't put that part it won't be interesting.
Well,i wrote my story short because ,i didn't wanted people to feel gripped about my story.Was it really cool? Because i don't really think my story is that cool.
DeleteYour friend Heejae^^
Hi! Ali.Did it really take away all the excitement? Well....If it did,Did it take all the excitement or just a little bit?
DeleteHello Achintya!Did the word crash make the story exciting??? I hope it did......
DeleteHi Thomas Norden! You are M.r.Correct .So, i think i will listen to you. And thanks for the advice!!!
DeleteTo M.r.Correct. well ,i mean Thomas Norden.
The ghost in the jungle: In a jungle was a house, there lived 4 people. Her sister went to New York and his parents died. He was left alone in his house. One night he was returning from a party. In his house suddenly the lights went of. He went up to his room and saw a girl sitting in front of him it looked like his sister RING "hello this is your sister speaking I am coming back from New York". "Aren't you sitting in front of me?" questioned Thomas." NO".I have to get out this house. He went out, but his house started turning brown to black! After 5 years Thomas started his business and lived at his sisters house
ReplyDeleteHi! It is me Heejae .I really like this story . Iliked the part when the house turning brown to black and the part when he saw the ghost.I think your story is very exciting!!
DeleteHi Achintya,
DeleteYour story was very interesting!!!!!
My favourite part was when Thomas was talking to the ghost from the jungle, and the part when Thomas and his sister lived together.
Maxima
I really liked the idea of having a house in the jungle. I also liked the vocabulary that you used instead of said. Though it may have been better if used more adjectives.
DeleteYour friend Thomas
İnteresting a ghost in the jungle
DeleteI like the part that the story is set in a jungle but the rest of the story I do not understand
DeleteDear Achintya
DeleteYour stroy was interesting. I liked when the after 5years Thomas started his business. But there was a part that I really didn't understand it was when the Thomas sister went to Newyork and his parents died. From. MinJoo
I appreciate it maxima. I also liked that part maxima but it was easy to think for that.
DeleteHi Thomas I think I have to use more adjective.
DeleteHello ulgen it was hard to think of the name the story . The story I heard is from my grandfather.��
DeleteThanks Ali but I also think I have to improve my story writing.����
DeleteThank you Hee jae I liked your comment but it took me time to think about the part you liked.
ReplyDeleteDear Achintya.
ReplyDeleteI like how the story start's and end's but the most is that the house is in the jungle.
Dear Achintya
ReplyDeleteI like that he was alone home and that his sister is in Newyork and the story was very interesting.
One sunny morning there was a clear passage showing a way to a light house. Lilly thought it will be great thing to do. Lucy her little sister thought not. "So lets go" yelled Lilly with excitement. "No" replied Lucy "no I do not want to go". "Why"? Questioned Lilly. Lucy didn't reply. "Fine then" cried Lilly, "what, I can't let you go alone" exclaimed Lucy. "Then come with me"! Expressed Lilly. "Ok" answered Lucy.
ReplyDeleteSo they both went on the trail leading them intro thick dark clouds covering the path. "Let's go home" cried Lucy with drips of fear going down her face as she tried her head side to side wondering what could be there. "Come in its right up ahead" yelled Lilly grabbing her hand and ran up the path. When they got there the light house seemed empty. "Come on Lilly lets go home!" Cried Lucy with fear still dropping down her face. " No "replied Lilly "its to late for that to happen". So they walked inside the light house to see what's there. Bam! The door closed. "Ah" Lucy screamed. "Shh" replied Lilly." I told you we shouldn't of come here" explained Lucy. "Shh, what's that?" Questioned Lilly. They turned around...
And saw a bunny. They ran up to it and started to pet it. The bunny got bigger and bigger and bigger, until the bunny got upon its two legs and yelled. An old sweet lady ran down the stairs with a broom and started hitting the bunny until it gotten smaller. The old lady in a sweet voice asked "what are you doing here?"
"Mmm" we both questioned. Before we finished she asked "do you want some tea with me?" "Yes" screamed Lilly and Lucy. "So come on up" answered the lady. When we where walking up the stairs she told us her name, Sara Fred Dina Louis. Sara told us about how the light house was enchanted by a spell which turned everything upside down. Sara also said that her family was living ever since 1971. "Even today everyone wants me to move out" said Sara. "But I wouldn't let them have it. ". When we sat down she told us about her childhood and how it was a sacrifice to live through it. When we where done she took us outside and lead us down to the middle of the path. She let us go from there. When we made it to the end of the path our mother there in pain saw us. "Where have you been?" Questioned our mom. As we where getting hugged we did not reply but she was still happy to see us as we walked away. But we still do not know who the witch is and why.
I was getting into the elevator when I accidentally pressed the wrong button; 33 1/2. I went up and up in the elevator until he finally reached the floor. When he gets out the first thing he sees is a white transparent body... A ghost. "Hello mortal. I see you have come to join the party. Unfortunately, it is my party! Guards, get him!" Now getting strangled by a ghost is worse than you think. I quickly realised they could go through you when they wanted, but you couldn't run through them. When they got hold of me they put me in a cell. There was only some dry bread and water for food. I was about to go to sleep when I saw something move...
ReplyDelete"Hello, I am the man in black. I am friendly and I have come here to give you this." He gave me a silver sword with a 50 cm long blade. When I held it I felt it was perfectly balanced too. "Silver is the only metal that kills ghosts. The slaves are humans made into ghosts. You will be one if you don't defeat the ghost king. You must also tell no one about this, and hit the slaves with the sword after the king is defeated." Then he just vanished into thin air.
I cut open the door and ran at the king. He didn't see me coming but managed to dodge my strike. "Foolish boy. No metals harm ghosts. Copper, gold, bronze, steel." said the king "How about silver" I shouted and charged again. This time I got lucky and hit him right in the hip. "OOWWWW!" screamed the ghost as he slowly dissolved.
After hitting all the slaves there was a full room of confused humans. I got in the elevator and went up to the 34th floor. I still kept my promise not to tell anyone and the day went on as usual.
It was a rainy cold night and the wind was blowing but that day I had to go to outer space. The countdown was about to begin and I was set to go. 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BLASTOFF!!!! I was feeling jerks in the beginning but in no time I was in outer space. It was pitch black and suddenly I heard a thud and my rocket was going down, mission control do you read me do you read me but my rocket crashed.
ReplyDeleteI also started to wonder how is there gravity on this planet and saw a sign on a board Planet Muschtafi. Suddenly I heard a tap on my back and someone said how you dare step on the planet Muschtafi without permission or invitation I said my srocket crashed can you help me build a knew one I will call more of the Muschtafi citizens. Another alien came and said you need help to build a rocket I said can you provide me with one ok said the alien come with me. I saw a huge saucer with some water guns on it, this is the last one we have but you can take it.
Can you do a favor for us take us with you why not come along. On the way back I felt real happy but with that a bit confused. When we reached I noticed that I forgot it was Christmas so I celebrated Christmas and we wished each other happy Christmas.
THE END
In 2020 NASA found out a much better way to fly into space, allowing people to fly as far as Jupiter. On the 29th of October 2027 the space craft was ready to launch. The astronauts on board were Peter Richardson and John Smith. When the flight finally took of it was 20:34. "All scales are positive. You have made a successful lift-off!" said the mission controller.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few days in space they heard the mission controller saying that they had miss aimed our course and we were now 45 degrees off course. They were heading towards an unknown planet. Now the astronauts started to panic. Then suddenly CRASH. They now saw it close up. They went to search for anything and found a green alien. "EEEKKK!" the astronauts shouted. "We have seen your ship and you may need another way home. We may have one solution. We have been working on an ancient portal that can be used only once. You can use it, but you will only be able to get yourselves through without your baggage." said the alien. "Thank you very much!!!" said the astronauts.
So the very next day they got into the portal and found themselves on the field next to the space station. They told the mission controllers all about the mission and found out it was Christmas Eve. So they celebrated Christmas normally and had a great New Year.
It was May, 2314. Today a rocket would be launched that would make history. "Everyone ready?" Asked one of the astronauts. "Yes all the readings look good, commence countdown." "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Houston we have lift-of!!!" Said mission control. Moments later the rocket shot out of the earth's atmosphere and into the galaxy beyond!
ReplyDeleteAfter a while they came upon a cluster of planets. "Hey, look that's the planet we're supposed to land on," exclaimed one of the astronauts. "Oh yeah, we just have to make a 90 degree turn to land on it!" agreed the other astronaut. One of the astronauts pressed the button and suddenly the ship jerked right, but one of the astronauts asked, "Aren't we supposed to turn left?" said his college observing the flight plan. "Oh no I pressed the wrong button!!!" Suddenly there was a giant CRASH!! Moments later they all jumped out of their now useless ship.
"What are we going to do?!" wept one of the astronauts. "Put your hands above your head or I'll shoot!!" ordered a little green man. "Why are you here?" he asked. "Please, we mean no harm but its a long story," said the astronauts. "I have all the time in the galaxy," said the alien.
After lots of explaining the alien forgave them and gave them a rocket to fly back on, and they all got back safely.
Dromes and the Snull
ReplyDeleteIn Ancient Greece there lived a terrifying creature called the Snull. It was half bull, half snake with big red eyes and two massive horns and frightened everybody who lived in Persia. The royal family had had enough of it and decided to have a meeting with the priests. They agreed they would ask everybody if they wanted to kill the Snull. If they did they would be promised great riches and land. Now no one would volunteer as they weren't wanting to risk their lives even with such a reward possible.
At last Dromes, the Prince of Persia decided to do it himself. He asked his dad, King Taurus if he could do it. Taurus said no. So Dromes decided to dress as a villager and volunteer. The King said yes as he didn't know who the villager was. Soon after Dromes went to different villages to ask where he could find the Snull. He was dressed normally but never told anyone he was prince. In the meanwhile Taurus was going bonkers trying to find Dromes but just couldn't find him.
Dromes kept asking until he came across a cave with rotten bones and fur everywhere. At once he knew he had found the Snull. He went in to the cave and found nothing. he then listened carefully and could hear a blocked up scream. He followed the sound until the cave got lighter and could see a girl tied up to a pole. He helped her undo the ropes so she could speak. She told Dromes that the Snull had taken her and was going to eat her. She said it was away terrorising a town and stealing more people for food. I'll hide when he comes and attack him from behind said Dromes while keep it distracted. I hope it works!
Everything went according to plan and as planned. While the Snull was distracted Dromes attacked from behind. But just when Dromes was about to strike the Snull moved away to admire his new meal. Seeing Dromes he got very angry and used his horns to flick him off the ground. Dromes landed on the creature's back and kept on smacking it's head and after 2 minutes the Snull fell on the floor. Dromes then stabbed it in the heart and watched as it let out it's last groan. He then freed everybody else and went home.
When back at the palace he put on his disguise and gave the Snull's head to King Taurus. As he was about to collect his prize he revealed his true identity to everyone. There was a long silence until Taurus said he could not give the prize to the prince. Then the kind Dromes suggested that they give it to the villagers. Taurus approved and there was a big cheer. "All hail Prince Dromes!" everybody shouted in unison. They then went off to bed and lived happily ever after.